Door number 7

Mi futuro es tan brillante que tendre que ponerme gafas = My future's so bright I got to get some shades.

walking through life blind. i think that is pretty much what karma is all about.

you think you have laid out all YOUR choices, there they are all lined up, out there on the table now, and you have studied each permutation of each possible variable. ready to deal now with what you chose.

and then ka-pow. one letter is dropped into your lap, giving you under 10 minutes to decide to take what's behind Door number 7. it's non-negotiable.

and Door number 7 is inevitable now, it didn't exist 10 minutes ago. it has just shimmered into existence, simply because YOU didn't do what you needed to do by now, on your road map of life. you haven't learnt all you needed to learn, or settled all that you needed to by the time you got to this exact life marker. clock is ticking and to stay in the game, you need to suffer a little. time for some pay back to the universe.

so what to do? you have no choice. you open Door number 7. sometimes with a breaking heart, and very shaky knees. but you do it anyways. sometimes you open that symbolic Door with your eyes wide open, like an animal caught in somebody's headlights. sometimes you're squinting. but most times you blink rapidly, forcing yourself to remember to breathe, and not to start crying.

in hind-sight, Door number 7 was the God-most-awful decision anyone could have made, and it takes YOU as many years (as in an equivalent number) of keeping your head down, and your actions honest, to be able to take out that dark stain on your life's history of choices. before the whispers finally stop and your family and friends can look you in your eye and smile again. before you wake up smiling.

but then you start all over and are back to laying out all those options, on the table, again. and then you get this next letter dropped into your lap. and although every iota of e.v.e.r.y. cell in your body is telling you that you are in love, and your friends are telling you that you are glowing and they have never seen you happier, that letter, it says clearly your "man" he ain't never going to love you the way you love him, sista. and guess what? he will also start to extricate himself from your life as one big sacrifice to his friendship, so his conscience is clear and he feels this will make you move on and so he imagines that very soon YOU will get to feel all white-fluffy-cloud-feeling + pink-heart-romance all over again. with someone else.

and no matter how many times you feel like you need to scrape your guts off that kitchen floor, to be able to open up that next Door. and your soul, she dies just a little bit more, all over again, and with moist eyes, and innards twisted in anguish, with a hardened heart and a malicious sway, you away...