one year today. my sweet friend. RIP.

one year already, and i still shake my head thinking "really? she is really gone?"
and i was just miles away from being a day-to-day part of her life. i think about her hearts, those that lived with her second by second, that loved her to her core and beyond. i think especially of Simon and wonder how he's doing. i think about Mrs. and Mr. Cameron. of Wendy.

i woke up thinking 'there is a day to live and there is a day to die' and i think today is a day to live YOUR life to the MAX my friends. to celebrate being alive. even to celebrate being in love and getting dumped, cos you get that 2nd chance. you get to walk bare foot and have long showers in good health feeling your entire life still ahead of you and you get to feel the sunshine on your face.

driving to work today, i saw a man sleeping on a bench. it was across the courts at the traffic lights between Jalan Raja and Jalan Parlimen. he had his legs crossed and was sleeping on his side, and had one arm stretched out. he looked like he had had a rough night with one too many bottles of toddy, and i watched at him with such a total array of emotions. first in deep shock (as it was like 9am! it was the heart of Kuala Lumpur and he was still blissfully unawares, and hello, wasn't he going to be late for work?!).

and then in concern (was he even alive?? what if he was lying there dead? and then he coughed and coughed again). and then in utter disgust (wtf was he in such a state of total un-control that he needed to stay the entire night out sleeping on a bench?). and then i smiled. sigh... cos i suddenly remembered all over again. the blazing nights of walking home so drunk we needed a "designated walker". stumbling and laughing and singing and crying... we used to (regularly) find some of our mates passed out drunk on the sides of the main road back to Deakin Uni from the local pub. and i laughed cos this guy, like us then, gets to wake up, shake himself, go home and have a shower, and think wtf? BUT he gets to just get on with life.

and its all ABOUT choices. get that? i did. watching him in slumber, i did. Camo lived her life, right to her last breaths... and beyond.

my angel.. he sent me a message today:

"Do not search for us...we will find you.
Do not wait for us...we are here already.
Do not whisper your name...we know it well.
We have loved you forever, time will tell...
We are your Guardian Angels."
~Author Unknown~

2 weeks since i am 40 now...

...and i realize that this is the best place for me to be at right now.

that Socks was totally right in hoping i am exactly where i needed to be and that i am completely conscious of this fact.

i have also finally taken off from my internal/mental pedestal my hero from my isle of birth. well over a decade later, and he has finally fallen into showing me that he is not merely just a mortal man but also one that has his dick very much in his wife's hand to the point that he is sneaking around behind her back to resume being "dear" friends with me.

tsk tsk. and so here's spit in your face XXXXX. you used to be the man and now? i realize that i was looking at you pretty much through hallucinogenic retinas of old. where i only saw a gentle and true being, one that upheld friendships and hence stood up for his fraternity as such.

only in the end.. my sex stood against me, and i was no longer just a mate but rather someone who had moved firmly into becoming a real threat to his insecure wife that is yet to meet me for the record. warped, bizarre, and very much true.

my 40th welcomed me into infinite possibilities and also into waking up and seeing the fallen, exactly for what he is.

an ode to Mz. Larawannabe

think.think.think.

of edddward. so that you will cease your daily trifling.

and you may flit away from tedium and general boredom.

float away. like a little butterfly, quick upon the clouds of want and longing.

to being home again and lying down to the hard pages of his story.

you arch your neck to the sensuous possibilities of being bitten.

and it continues...

Larawannabe: men shud read all these books we go gaga with
Larawannabe: then they'll know what we expect
Larawannabe: u shud read 'me & mr darcy'
Larawannabe: so funny too. this writer guy (the hero) trying to unearth the mystery of why women swoon over mr darcy
Iggy Singh: hmmmm. this is the year i will get swept of my feet
Iggy Singh: and not land on my ass :))
Iggy Singh: now pack up and GO HOME

MSN convo with my BFF: TGIF peeps!

Larawannabe: im fidgeting. cant wait to balik
Larawannabe: u know haaa
Larawannabe: men when they're sick, they r so grumpy
Larawannabe: why is that??
Iggy Singh: who says they are men?
Iggy Singh: they are ALWAYS babies
Iggy Singh: or boys
Iggy Singh: they just get wrinkles, go bald, and grow their bellies
Iggy Singh: ohhhh.. like going backwards in time to when they were babies
Iggy Singh: hence our fascination with vampires
Larawannabe: wat? vamps are more mature?
Iggy Singh: as in they stay beautiful
Iggy Singh: no balding
Iggy Singh: no bellies
Iggy Singh: :))
Iggy Singh: at least they deadly babies with eternally good looks
Larawannabe: hear hear!

birthdays and then some...

3 folk share a birthday today: Veena Kanda, Edward Cullen and Nicole Kidman.

happy birthday my sista Veen :) i wish you all that is pure and happy, with lots of sex thrown into the mix! amen!!!
Edward was born in 1901, is a vampire and unknown to him, my BFF Mz. LWB is smitten and then some. le sigh! how this has kept us going these last 2 weeks.
Nicole is on the other hand, human like Veen, is 41, and just one year older than muah, and as the radio DJs put it this a.m.... UNLINED! yes, her porcelain skin is remarkable.

i have had the best week ever. my client and dear friend Su bought me a birthday lunch yesterday at Centro, and MADAM here had nasi lemak. the verry 1st time since i was diagnosed to be glucose intolerant, and mannnn, was it worth every morsel (of course 1/3 the rice!)
my oldest and dearest friend Socks bought me a Moroccan dinner at One Bangsar last night, and we had the best time ever. i got the best "present" - a picture of a land iguana taken on their recent holiday to the Galapagos Islands. he was wild and happy and just about to eat a cactus. and coincidentally in the very same card, my favvorite Bon Jovi song written out in full - Welcome to Wherever You Are. and of course the best of the best thing really was the time we got to spend together, the happiness at just hanging out, the bitter sharing of life's twisted and unwanted lessons, and the realization that we are that "friend" to each other that has been constant :) you know? just like in that song.

todayyy, my office is taking me out to the KLCC for Tim Sum and i am again felling truly blessed. oh, and peeps?? it is FRIDAY!

successfully 40 :)

and truly loved.
that is how i feel.
the love, attention, and individual time
that i received from those closest to me,
sigh, irreplaceable.
not to mention the material stuff
(that is linked to birthdays).

my parents came all the way and stayed throughout.
and gave me such a beautiful gift for life
(thanks for the stunning bracelet).
i received the most exquisite presents
posted all the way from La Coruna
(thanks Mama Victoria for the stunning painting
and my familia for the fine black Spanish lace shawl).

to my aunties that gave me their memories
(auntie Jas through the many dinners,
auntie Sharon that sang to me over the phone)
and their "contributions" to my shopping,
a heartfelt thank you.

to ACK and my lovely SIL,
who hosted the cake cutting,
bought me the cake, and the excellent
BATMAN T. for my nieces and nephew that
got the hand-held bouquet.
to SIL especially that picked the
'orange' theme.. THANK YOU all.

to LWB, for your presence with M.
for the beautiful pictures and
your blog to host them...
thank you and here's to going green...
this Friday yu.

and to the 1st phone-call on my special day.
uncle Handsome and auntie Judy, all the way
from the land down under.
i love you so. and to the many many calls, emails,
text messages thereafter, mucho besos.

word.

tattoos and then some...

i got pictures of my best friend's latest tatt yesterday. a maori tribal shark, it is perfect. the placement, the detail, the way it has healed. le sigh.
i am itching to grow my dragon now. i think she is seriously talking to me. she keeps saying she needs wings, and she needs them fast. i can almost feel her uncoiling, getting ready to spring back off her hind-legs. past my shoulder blade, out into the universe.

speaking of mythical creatures and their human friends (and hence my feng-shui allies.. no, haven't been smoking the ganja mon), my parents arrive tomorrow. pure bliss. they arrive to facilitate my week of happiness and my special birth year. for which i am truly grateful :)

now, if only the great white hunter would arrive. i miss his honey colored eyes.

hey :) this is my last Monday as a 30-something...

and although this strikes me as a revolutionary stepping up to my brilliant future, the real focus for the day has been: would you really become a vampire if you were given a choice, and who is cooler? the vampire or the loup-garou?

hmm, so Larawannabe and me are having this on-going chat right now, on which creature of the night is better. interestingly enough, i have firmly shifted to the loup-garou after catching Blood and Chocolate on ASTRO just recently.

so now, we are on opposite sides of the after world. a short crisis and then i suggest we could BOTH be rulers together, bringing the age-old war between the vampire and beautiful wolf creature to an end, and therefore recreate the laws of what is acceptable and who our allies are.

also, my 1st ruling would be that all creatures of the night have to start wearing pink, and G-strings... bring it on!

in memory of the blues...

so 11 days to go, and i am 40. today is my SIL's birthday (HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIRAN).
and i realize just how away i have been on iguana news. i have been extremely stuck on FaceBook and my new Fluff Friend, and only yesterday decided to read my sifu's Lizards-In-Scarves Blog.

the shock and pure hatred i felt. first at reading about the seven blue iguanas that were brutally murdered in their cages at the botanical park in the Cayman Islands in May! and then when i googled to find their pictures, and read over and over again how brutalized they really were, and that NO ONE has been found guilty as yet... i saw red. every time i closed my eyes, i could feel this hot red wave wash over me and i came that close to flying to the Cayman Islands, buying a gun, and lashing out at any potential suspects.

needless to say, i went home, had a stiff whiskey, spoke to my mother, fell asleep and woke up this morning, still numb, still in mourning and reeling at what those blues must have felt in their last moments. and then i woke IggySingh up, and she uncurled her tail, and stretched out, giving me a quick kiss, and i poured all my positive vibes into her, and then back out at the world. i also took my very smart mother's advise and said a prayer for the souls of the 7 blues, lighting some candles for them this morning.

the seal hunt is about to start. and so on we go with more human violence against defenceless creatures of God's creation that look to us as their guardians. and you wonder why i hide out on FaceBook where nothing is real.

the countdown begins :)

June. my favvvorite month. we have my birthday on the 16th and Mom and Dad's wedding anniversary on the 30th. and so the countdown begins :)
starting with... (drum roll) 12 more days to my 40th.

hindsight. stock take. am i exactly where i need to be at 40? well, at 35, looking at 40, i certainly had different plans. i was to be retired. working with animals. self sustained. living in sin or otherwise with Brad Pitt, John Abraham or my one true love.

so, it didn't work out like that, in any shape or form. but i am happy. i have leveraged off being "glucose intolerant" and dropped 6.5 (7?) KGs. my 2 favv people in the world are coming down to KL to have dinner with me on my 40th (my beautiful parents of course).

i have IggySingh back. she is now "healed" and is now putting on body mass. bliss. my heart swells on THIS one fact... that IggySingh is home!

my one true love thinks i am his hero (although he still hasn't fallen madly in love with me nor is he coming to Malaysia for my birthday to sweep me off my feet). and i actually love my job, and enjoy my colleagues at work. i actually have a life that i am proud of, and one that i like now.

living in my tattooed skin is good.. so stay tuned. amreeth is back!

Gong Xi Fa Chai.

and so today is the 7th day of the Chinese New Year.
a lot has happened just between the start of the Western New Year and that of this Chinese New Year.

i found out that my best friend was really dating someone when he put his Facebook status into "in a relationship" yet chose not to tell me, even when i asked him. no biggie i suppose, just hurtful. and so to the Blog Stalker i have now picked up through our common friend in La Coruna, delete delete delete!

i found out that i am glucose intolerant. no biggie i know, just have had to give up my truck-driver-portions of rice at lunch and dinner, my McDs and all those french fries in-between, and my religious nightly beer. my body though loves this new change and has dropped 4 KGs over a week plus i am feeling soo energized without my insulin having to work overtime to cope with the carbs, i might as well be on prozac. plus it made me buy a treadmill (so at 40 i am finally going to eat well and walk to sweat!). le sigh.

i reaffirmed again why i love IggySingh soooooooooo, and why she loves me right back. she was just so manja towards me over the long CNY break, and amongst lots of ways of showing me her companionship and her affiliation... (now this is a biggie!) for the 1st time ever, she also climbed into my lap just so she could then climb up onto my shoulder, all on her very own. where she proceeded to sit and kiss the back of my neck repeatedly, hugging my neck, until she had had her fill, and then down she came all on her very own. free will! ya gotta love it!

oh and i found my 40th birthday present... so Poh Kong MV, here i come again and again :)

and to all my dearest friends and members of my familia (that i talk to), i would like to take this opportunity to wish each of YOU a Happy and Prosperous Chinese New Year. May the Year of The Rat bring to you lots of love, prosperity, good health and escalating wealth.

Chak De!

embracing 2008 :)

my 40th year is here.
and so i am waiting for the angels to hark in heaven, and for ALL my dreams to come true in this one swirling Bollywood-dream-dance-climax-theme-sequence. in which i will have my man fall passionately in love with me and i will fall readily into his waltzing embrace, and we will eagerly do our own dard-ke-disco in the special-effects-fog that mysteriously seeps around our ankles.

yes... so, i have to find THE man first but other than that?

i want for this year to be a truly happy one.

to have us achieve world peace.

to see the end of ALL terrorism.

i want the abused animals to find homes with people that love their gentle souls, and who show our loyal friends that life is really all about receiving love and not about the human horrors they have had to put up with in silent anguish. i want the abusers to repent and carry their crosses up the South American rain forests or get locked up in tiny cages and take the abuse they meted out in lieu of atonement.

i want to see abused wives stand up for themselves and ALL crime against children fade into just another horror from our poor decrepit uncivilized past.

i want to see couples genuinely in happy marriages/relationships and the art of faithfulness becoming all the rage.

i want to see all cures be created miraculously, and to have cancer to be the first to be eradicated. i want us to be a world with no sickness, with no disease, and of pure pink health from birth to peaceful blissful death.

i want to have lunch with Bono, and salute to all religions coming together towards the one true God, the Father that has created us all, in our glorious diversity.

i want most of all, to be able to sleep through the nights :) and to wake up in the knowledge that i am truly loved.

i wish you a verry happy new year and give you my sincerest wishes for a Year of The Rat that is filled with pink health, eternal love, internal, environmental and global peace and cha-chink.... prosperity baby. Chak De!