memories.

my grandma passed away on the 3rd of August. she was 96. and had spent the last 9+ years in a home. the last year or so of which she was bedridden and uncommunicative.
everyone that came to pay their last respects to grandma had an individual stylized mental snapshot of her, a personal story that warmed their hearts, a sliver of who she had been. before the senile dementia, even before the paranoia had begun.

i believe that now finally, my grandma is free, and that she has spent her decade of hell-on-earth-years eradicating any lingering karma she may have had to carry forward, and that finally she is safely in heaven. the memories that hit me 2.5 weeks later made me smile, laugh, shake my head, and even cry. i think if one parks any negative vibes, and holds on to only the good, then everyone has "the" memory that they can hold on to with the deepest love, and respect.

Mr. Twit surprised me. i collapsed at my grandma's final prayers (14th of August), i think as a result of an overwhelming couple of weeks, and having experienced a low sugar level, i fell in the final moments of the final prayers. Mr. Twit came to sit right by me, and talk to me, and stayed with me until i was all better. he broke the boundaries of us not talking for a year, of coming to sit amongst the women, just to sit gently on the floor with me. maybe grandma wanted us to be closer, or at the very least act civil in public.

Mrs. Twit was the usual class-act-bitch that she was born to be. the memories i keep with me about Mrs. Twit, even when i discard the mean times, and all the negativity with her?? hmmm... i have the same silly sense of "why???" "whyyyy or whyyyyy am i in the same family with her?" i think so that i can never make the mistake of being her friend :) thank you grandma, for showing me this even in your last moments, what really matters the most. and that being finally estranged from Mrs. Twit is not a bad thing at all.

God Speed Mahji xx

it's a short week...

with Friday being a public holiday and all. bliss :) i am heading home to the Island to celebrate my Mom's 70th birthday this week-end. so double reason for blissfulness :)

i am even beyond meeting Mr & Mrs. Twit over Mom's birthday dinner. i am that happy, just to be going home (to have a home), to see Mom & Dad, to be a little girl all over again.

i think there is a lot to be said for jade, lavender, green and otherwise...

grrrrrr...

so, our reunion dinner was a little bizarre. Mrs. Twit avoided me all night. no skin off my ass. except that she ignored my Father and Mother too, who is her Father&Mother-In-Law. so.. once again, it boils down to bad manners, low classedness, and plain ole assedness. (yeah, so i created the words in her honor!)

otherwise, i had a fabulous start to the Year of The Tiger. in fact, the Mrs. Twit incident was a little like the icing on the cake. cos it wasn't ME that finally let the side down. in addition, i visited 5 dear and long time members of my familial past, all in the 3 lightening swift days on the Island. our ex-gardener and my adopted grandfather, who turned 100 years old. my actual Grandmother who will be 96 this year (sadly however, she was the only "physical" visit we had as her mind is quite elsewhere). my Dad's ex-boss, who will be 91 in May. my 2 long standing "Aunt's" and soul-sisters to my Mom. 1 is active, alert, and still looks in her 50s, despite being in her late 70's and having lost her husband and daughter, and is still working as a counsellor. the other is also in her late 70's, has the most beautiful-happy smile despite her very bad knees, and failing short-term-recollection. she reminded me how special it is to be genuinely loved by a parent, as she spoke of her 3 kids (and 5 gran kiddies). my Mom and i swirled whiskies in our glasses as our eyes met repeatedly, every time Aunt forgot it was a question she has just asked. and we cheered often in silent awe for how fragile life is, and for how special we all are, individually and collectively.

i look to them each, for my deepest inspiration, and for the lessons i will need for my on-going future. i know that this will be a Year that will have its ups and downs. but i also know that i will focus on the ups this time around... as the Tiger roars into this Monkey's ear :)

lavender jade :)

on topics that make me smile :) jewellery. Jade!!!
and the range of colors.

so after hours of googling, in summary Jade promotes:
practicality, wisdom, mental peace and tolerance of others.
it rejuvenates you under periods of stress, reduces fears and banishes negative thoughts.
it's a balancing stone. harmonizer. lucky stone. offers (promotes) good health, wealth (prosperity) and love. helps you realize your full potential and attain purposeful goals.
Jade helps lift you out of stuffed-down emotional issues and bring them to light for resolution. dream enhancer. emotional healer. reduces tension. protection from enemies and during long journeys.

increases one's capacity to giving and receiving love.
it brings/gives:
CLARITY. COURAGE. JUSTICE. WISDOM. MODESTY.

Lavender Jade:
puts you in touch with your emotions. beneficial to people who have been hurt by love or need to discover the gentleness within themselves. helps one learn restraint and subtlety in matters of emotional importance. for repairing a broken heart.

White: problem solving.

Brown: for those entering a new phase of life, connects to earth, settles matters at home.

Green: for the management of passionate feelings (anger management); very calming.

don't even get me started on Opals!!!

psssst? so CNY at home with the freaking twits??
BRING IT BABY! BRING IT!

i am surrounded...

i am surrounded by ass-holes. and trying to get away from them is a hard thing to achieve, when you have common parents.
so there. i have said it!
and now, i am looking forward to a looong week-end of fake Colgate smiles and quiet thoughts of murder... as i face 4 days of egotistical twits that think they rock and i am anal. blah. blah. blah. i think even lavender jade ain't going to fix this one.