hindsight.

hindsight = a powerful teacher as all of life gets revealed and you just finally get it.

so it has been ages since i wrote last.
i lost my beloved green friend May 28, 2011.
that floored me.

i went through the motions of living my life. but the essence of my existence that was HRH IggySingh got reduced to nothing other than sequential steps that earned me a daily wage, made my Mom stop worrying about me, and got me up and about like a normal human being.

the components of my happy soul = my daily routine of waking her up, and singing to her, bathing and playing with her, worrying about the weather for the day, intensely praying for big blue skies and an iguana-sunshiny day, her gentle sneezes that would lift the deepest corners of my heart into the most genuine warmth, the head bobbing, and dewlap flaring, the way her eyes would follow me around a room, the way she would scratch at the cushions whenever she turned in her sleep, her waiting for me to cajole her into eating, her walkabouts as she explored the same floor space with the fresh spirits of new possible adventures in the making, her acquiescing to sit on my lap so i could cuddle with her, her rewarding me with laying her face against my heart beat, hugging me while i told her how blessed and lucky i was to have her.

all gone.

and it took months and months of brain numbing activities to finally be able to talk and write about her without collapsing into a puddle of liquid. so here's an ode to my green friend. you came into my life so unexpectedly and shared 8 wonderful years of love, life, laughter and tears with me. never once were you judgemental and you never held a grudge even when i felt i could have done better. and for all it is worth, i still look into the corners of our sitting room, hoping to see you get up to greet me.

2011.

it continues being a great start to the year. i spent 11 days with my beautiful parents, and had the best Xmas and New Year's ever. they were so welcoming of my green iguana, it touched me to my core. and then i came home to wonderful clients.

back again up North, on the 3rd. and i am so looking forward to it. i hope 2011 and the upcoming year of the rabbit is a happy, ang-filled one, with lots of individual and group prosperity, excellent health, and many loving moments.

God Bless, one and all. and i welcome love into my life this year. i am ready.

so when one hopes?

does it ever come true? the one i dream of... did he exist, even then? and will he never appear again? or is it of a future unrealistic state that i envisioned?

it used to be that i wished upon God and all the stars for a man that would be just mine. brave and strong. loving and dependable. like the Heathcliff of old, passionate and enduring.

and now, i wish for hot days, and pure sunshine, for my green friend :)