the uncle Sarge dream

flowers, surrounded us. hues of brilliant pinks, reds, blues and a sprinkling of lavender and yellow. and i had finally found him. the flowers made a perfect happy circle around us and we sat flourishing exactly in the middle, just him and i.

time outside the circle marched on. i could see the greys and the various shades of nightfall's black so clearly. and then the light baby blues of day-skies breaking gently. i saw the sun rise and set gloriously and numerous times either way. it even rained and then stopped abruptly.

butterflies, and birds, they flew and they chirped. a nurse waited for him outside our circle, in her severely starched white hat and uniform. it was a clean, organized English lawn we were sitting on. and he was alive and cheery, and he changed repeatedly as we spoke. from being his black-and-white self in a pin-striped suit with short thick curly black hair and his thick black round frames from days long past. to himself at 60 something and in vivid color, just as he was before his stroke, the year before he passed on.

we never moved from where sat, the two of us together, in the all encompassing circle of flowers. we were blissfully still, and only our mouths stirred. the words were there, being exchanged, rapidly at times between us. i could see that we were talking endlessly, and we were belabouring points. we were laughing at times, and then i was crying and then we were laughing all over again. he was ever calm, paternal, and loving throughout.

i felt warm and genuinely fuzzy, and i had a real sense of support and belonging. he was sharing with me finally, the universe's biggest kept secret of what happens to you when you die. the journey beyond. the process of becoming dead. the rules of afterlife and beyond. the answers to if you ever come back, and the when and why it sometimes doesn't happen. the answers to: do you get to watch your loved ones move on within their karmatic circles of life on Earth? do you get to guide them and reach out to them in dreams and whispers?

he was keeping his promise of coming back and telling me this ultimate truth. and i was with him again, sitting there just absorbing greedily. only i couldn't hear the sound of those words, from where i suddenly was, standing outside that circle watching myself within. it was like God himself had turned off the volume and moved my conscious soul into an observing silence, least He sacrifice the age old debate of life-after-death in allowing the words to filter through. yes, uncle Sarge did keep his promise of coming back to me in a dream, after he was gone from us, to finally reveal it all.

deep down, i am sure i know now, what to expect, even if i can't tell you in our man-made words. i am at peace and i know it is sitting somewhere within my subconscious, these answers to all our long debates. i know too that he is in utter bliss and that he went back to the UK. that he is walking upon his gentle green lawns, and that he dresses like a right gentleman. and that he frequents the pubs still, and everyone knows him by name.