often you meet someone that starts to exist, only in your mind. and you don't even realize this. and then it's just too late. i mean he is real. for all intents and purposes. other people see him. your friends know him. he even comes and goes. eats. craps. fucks. works at a job. is on facebook. but you accidentally start creating fantasy bits of him in your mind. the little things that you fluff over. to compensate. and that makes him unreal. because the person that lives in your mind, that you communicate with through the lenses of your own self-created deception, he ain't the walking flesh that covers the backbone that he was born with. he is less. he is ill-fitting against the mental prowess you afforded him. your mind is a fertile landscape that paints over all the cracks and rotting behaviors. and then you wake up. and find you were standing up, already wide awake(!). and you can't even say you were heartbroken. because he is mostly made up.
~1st post by Ariel. dedicated to The Count. written Wednesday, August 5, 2009. 10 days before cleansing~
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