Friday, July 13, 2007

if not, why not?

Tiene plazas libres? = Do you have any vacancies?
Es para un adulto = It's for one adult.

do you think they have vacancies in heaven?
or at the very least a small space to let for the week ;)

it's these evenings that i miss you most of all, my darling uncle sarge. there are no autumn leaves but...
when i am watching some crappy TV serial on my own, curled up on my chaise and i find myself second guessing every quirky dialogue.
when i am sipping my 12 year single malt on the melting rocks, savoring the taste of just being.
when i can hear your voice - just so, and as gentle as a breeze, brushing my inner ear - telling me to suspend all rational thoughts and just accept things for what they are.
you always start with the infamous "i say" and your right hand is quick to punctuate the air with its shaking wrist, accentuating your POV just so.

i often sit here uncle sarge, and remember the very 1st time i tasted a single malt. do you remember? it was in the gardens of the bed+breakfast just outside the INSEAD campus in Fontainebleau, 1996. it was a gentle evening and you had just poured me an oak liquid that left my throat on fire. the trick is to sip :) i remember. Glenmorangie. a single highland malt whisky that still brings a smile to my heart. yes, i had finally graduated from VBs!

what are you doing right now my uncle sarge? where are you?
are you absorbed into the final light of nothingness? or are you sitting in the after life watching me from behind some white fluffy cloud, with your angel wings, waiting to come back?
to a life of pure masculine activity, and the ability now to run in the wide open cricket pitches you had to forgo thanks to having just the one lung?

do you see what i have become? what i have done these past 6 years. what i have excelled at? what i have regretted? my happy moments; my biggest blackest mistakes?

do you see whom i love now? do you see how i hang on? waiting patiently?

all these questions swell and the swirling malt makes the ice chink against this cut crystal glass, and i wonder where your warm hug is now, when i need you most??

my confession: i watch the clouds too often my uncle sarge. just waiting to catch a glimpse of you :)

6 comments:

larawannabe said...

lovely, just lovely. and poetic. in memory of uncle sarge. sigh.

My So-Called Life said...

wow! welcome to the blogsphere! isn't it wonderful to have a place to just be...

love what u doing :)

amreeth said...

yar :( i still miss him too much at times.
but always imagine he is happy.

uncle + i used to joke about him visiting me or me visiting him after he was gone from this world just so i could still talk to him and get his advice and just generally know whatssup with him :)

amreeth said...

hi NY :)
thank YOU!!! makes me really happy that you like.
sigh, i just felt i needed to write about me and whatssup in my head and i have been "watching" you you + LWB + ketchupmissy do and thought, i wanna too!
hugs + hope the weather is good in Langk*wi.

Fernando said...

uncle Surge..I had the privilege of meeting him great man.
Sorry for his lost , I could tell he made a impact in the lifes around him, he was loved by all and that only happens when you loved everyone and I think he just did that,

amreeth said...

yes, you are so right. he did Fer. he loved each one of us and in different ways.
i still have that pix of you + uncle sarge at anil's wedding. you remember?
he was always so happy + gracious :)