blink

i sit often now, with my eyes frozen open.
my unshed tears spring habitually to the back of my eyes, and i am afraid.
afraid that should i blink, i will allow the warm hurtful liquid an easy access to my broad cheeks, and the world will then see how my soul really mourns.
mourns this new coming of age, this new lesson learnt, this new ending.
for when you said good-bye, the finality of things so hopeless weighed too heavily upon these small shoulders, and i stopped breathing.
i could have taken any punishment, but not good-bye.