on wearing black and being a beatnik...

so walking along in my head,
snapping my fingers to my own rhythm,
i contemplate wearing black (which i always do),
and to chanting a poem, succinctly, i am cool.

i think i am sometimes just too way ahead,
and the crowd wants me to just confine,
to grow to the natural speed of a 4th gear,
i choose instead to ease back into 2nd.

it allows me to just be,
apart from the greed,
a part of the powers that be,
and i feel myself healing at my own pace.

so i say to you, boldly and with conviction,
snapping my fingers, cruising along,
accept me, do, i am merely me,
but i am so here to stay, ME.

my 100th...

my 100th posting :) so truth be told i logged on tonight, merely to gripe and to artfully whinge. but seeing that i was at 99 posts and this was my 100th(!), a smile crept onto my face, tugging at the corners of my soul. i reluctantly and then quite cheerfully conceded that to gripe at this historical "post" would be a sacrilege.

so i will park my feelings that i am not always good enough for someone or another, albeit they only have my best interests at heart. i would rather just appeal to the powers that be, to guide me into tolerance, and a sense of calm. i am living my life, and i am happy this way, so accept me. if i am not growing fast enough, maybe it is because i am not watching your time lines my critics and those that love me so you just want me to do better.

i am gently meandering on my own path to life. karma cleansing, celebrating a balanced lifestyle, almost going backwards at times i know, but always with the fresh wonderment that i am here, in my own skin, with only my own voice inside my head. i would almost dare to whisper that i apologize i cannot be the person you see me to have the potential to be. but i dare to shout, from the rafters, i am merely ME, and i am exactly where i need to be at this stage in my life.

so i remember to breathe, and i am holding my head up, pride emanating, and resonating in my secret plans...