so... next steps anyone? anyone? anyone?

had an excellent conversation with my sweet cousin this afternoon. he is the only one i know that checks up on me regularly. i mean really checks up on me.
how i am doing as a person, as a woman struggling through my life and a career and finding myself. not the way the rest do. my familia - always meaning well - but never stopping to think i could be vulnerable. that i am not as strong as i seem.

but this cousin. he is awesome that way :) so this little shout-out is to YOU, the curly wigged FB friend of mine. you know who you are.

so on this MSN convo (as in all our MSN convos) i find i tell him more than i intend as my guard is down. and that helps me stop and think, what i am doing really? the relevant question of have i moved on? how does one move on from something that never really started. from something that is so intrinsic to the very fabric of my soul, it continues on even when i don't feed it. it has a life of its own today. this intangible yet core element of whom i have become, the choices i make consciously and otherwise, all grow rooted from this core. yet it never technically started.

what does that make me? the stronger one? the one that is destined to feel that epic love story of angst and unfulfillment, karma and Shakespeare? i sit quietly at my desk, contemplating the beauty of a few simple words on an MSN convo.