the one

"I knew that he was the one for whose sake she denied the whole world and violated all earthly laws and customs."

Kahlil Gibran~Spirits Rebellious

time to look forward peeps...

i love this time of year.

no matter what situation my life is at, at any given year, at any given heart break, at any given job and arse-hole boss, at any given family crisis, when December rolls on up and then starts to speed on by, i feel it.
the promise of Christmas. the magic of possibilities. of dreams come true and all the world at peace.

the time to just stop and be with those you cherish. the ability to take a break as everyone should be on holidays. the excitement of travel for pure pleasure. the presents you can buy with such careful consideration and flamboyant recklessness. the trimming and wrapping that disguise your surprises.

but mostly it is the soft whispering that this could be it. that the magic of this season followed by the fresh start of a spanking new year might just bring with it the faerie-winged change that you have been waiting for with an unconscious bated breath of reckoning.

i wish for all, friend and enemy alike, the possibility of taking back the one truly evil deed that you have done and the blessing of being able to just put things right.

i pray that you get the chance to "pay it forward". to pass on an act of complete random kindness with no agenda and no expected payback, to a perfect stranger in dire need. and with it i pray you receive the power of realization as your kind act continues to ripple and flourish and we collectively break down barriers and spread pure joy with our human hearts and hands touching those that really needed the help. i wish you the positive karma to be able to pull back just one soul from the edge of nothingness.

i yearn for 2010 to be the year we put our backs to violence. globally. individually. as a community. i yearn for peace in my heart.
i pray for all the animals, big and small, pets and otherwise, to be treated humanely and with the deepest love and respect come January 1st, 2010, for as long as the last human shall live.
i wish for the end of sickness, and of famine, of financial crises and of bad leaders.
and most of all, i wish for my one true love. the enduring kind that doesn't dissipate with the last drops of the perfume bottle one gets at the start of an ill-fated romance. amen.

All we are saying is give peace a chance...

watched "US vs. John Lennon" on the tube the other day. made my poor father endure as well *grin*
talk about revisiting one of the greatest minds vicariously, through original black and white clips filmed in 1968/9! and just suddenly developing my own personal clarity into the exact sentiments under layering each song and the 'why-s' Lennon wrote each of his revolutionary period songs the way that he did. if anything, i am even more convinced personal stance and contributions make that incremental (and sometimes monumental) difference. and talk about that collective wave of incrementals... and the pure power it yields over governments.
so i would like you to pause in your journey through cyber space, here. and consider where we would be right now, if more of us had stood up in our individual countries in the late 70s. and so okay, whilst past is past and i was being born then... even more relevantly, today.

"Two, One Two Three Four

Ev'rybody's talking about
Bagism, Shagism, Dragism, Madism, Ragism, Tagism
This-ism, that-ism
Isn't it the most
All we are saying is give peace a chance
All we are saying is give peace a chance

Ev'rybody's talking about
Ministers, Sinisters, Banisters and canisters,
Bishops and Fishops and Rabbis and Pop eyes,
And bye bye, bye byes.
All we are saying is give peace a chance
All we are saying is give peace a chance

Let me tell you now
Ev'rybody's talking about
Revolution, Evolution, Mastication, Flagelolation, Regulations.
Integrations, Meditations, United Nations, Congratulations
All we are saying is give peace a chance
All we are saying is give peace a chance

Oh Let's stick to it
Ev'rybody's talking about
John and Yoko, Timmy Leary, Rosemary, Tommy smothers, Bob Dylan,
Tommy Cooper, Derek Tayor, Norman Mailer, Alan Ginsberg, Hare Krishna,
Hare Krishna
All we are saying is give peace a chance
All we are saying is give peace a chance"

Live Peace In Toronto, 1969 Album.

so... next steps anyone? anyone? anyone?

had an excellent conversation with my sweet cousin this afternoon. he is the only one i know that checks up on me regularly. i mean really checks up on me.
how i am doing as a person, as a woman struggling through my life and a career and finding myself. not the way the rest do. my familia - always meaning well - but never stopping to think i could be vulnerable. that i am not as strong as i seem.

but this cousin. he is awesome that way :) so this little shout-out is to YOU, the curly wigged FB friend of mine. you know who you are.

so on this MSN convo (as in all our MSN convos) i find i tell him more than i intend as my guard is down. and that helps me stop and think, what i am doing really? the relevant question of have i moved on? how does one move on from something that never really started. from something that is so intrinsic to the very fabric of my soul, it continues on even when i don't feed it. it has a life of its own today. this intangible yet core element of whom i have become, the choices i make consciously and otherwise, all grow rooted from this core. yet it never technically started.

what does that make me? the stronger one? the one that is destined to feel that epic love story of angst and unfulfillment, karma and Shakespeare? i sit quietly at my desk, contemplating the beauty of a few simple words on an MSN convo.

testing my password... rotflmao...

so. has it really been since august that i wrote last?
that i felt the need to put my thoughts on a cyber page, my blog.
how my life has changed. where do i begin?
maybe like Mama V suggested to me from the start. write in code. and let God and the others pick up what they can, but more importantly, a word, a nuance, can so trigger a well of emotions, flecks of one's soul, just from that "trigger".
so here i go, attempting:
nadi. leaves. past. present. marriage.
Gujerati. sins. celebrate the feminine.
embrace the unknown. light the fire.
praise and worship. dedication and being vegan.
balance. alcohol free. thursdays.
fridays. saturdays. sindoor. and the sacred milk.
the feeling that soon, i will be complete...